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Sunday, June 13th, 2010
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1:52 am
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Someone has added me without my desire or permission again. So from this point forward, we are going back to friends only or not using lj at all.
Said moron has an ebtire warning label in his lj saying he does give a rat's ass if you want him to friend him or not and that you are simply childish if you want someone to unfriend you.
This person does know my friends Autumn an Greyloch, so, I apologize to them for whatever bile may be spewed upon this cretin.
This will be my last public post, if not last post entirely.
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 8th, 2010
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2:28 am - Doctor Why
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Itunes took last week of from posting new eps of Doctor Who, putting me even further behind everyone with another avenue of viewing the series.
I just watched Amy's Choice. And to be frank, I want my two dollars, not to mention my 45 minutes, back.
I have been a major fan of the new series, loving Matt Smith and whashername as Amy Pond. I have shrugged as friends found the new series wanting. I was enchanted.
Until Vampires in Venice...and I like it far and above Amy's Choice.
First off, it was just plain boring. I come to this for escapism and entertainment. Boring is bad. And speaking of bad, the acting in this ep is BAD. Rory has no screen presence. No chemistry with Amy. No 'zing' with the Doctor. He brings zip to the table.
And he drags the table down with him.
And the plot here boils down to more existential navel gazing by the Doctor. I was so sick of meloncholy by the time Tennant left, they could have gone Benny Hill spoofid and I might have watched. Having this entire plot boil down to 'magic beans' (or crystals, or whatever) that caused the dream state...and the villain being revealed to be the Doc's own psyche telling him what a rotten sod he was for 'abandoning his friends' over the years.
Um...other than Sarah Jane, a story they resolved, who did he abandon?
Rose? No. He was given a crappy choice to save both her life and the Universe by leaving her in the parallel world. With her own shiny doc to hump, at that.
Donna? Well...her brain was going to explode, so maybe he did the right damn thing.
Martha? Married Mickey the idiot and saves the world with UNIT.
Adric? He DIED. (and good freaking riddance.)
Leela? She and one version of K-9 decided to stay behind cause she was in love with someone else.
I could go on, but I won't. You get the point.
This idea of the Doctor has someone who has traveled for centuries, tragically leaving behind broken people who can never recover from their time with him, is melodramatic nonsense that has only been invented in the rebooted series.
I loved Rose Tyler. I loved that Doctor fell for her. I loved the resolution of a classic story resolved by bring back Liz Sladen. But just cause those stories worked...doesn't mean I wanna see it repeated over and over.
Give me action, adventure, time travel, alien worlds...but save the soap opera for Eastenders, dammit.
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(10 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, June 5th, 2010
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3:46 am - Writer's Block: Nature v. nurture
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In your opinion, how much of our personality is genetic, and how much is shaped by environmental factors?
In my opinion, it's not a matter of opinion.
Exhaustive studies have shown that it's a mix of environmental factors and genetics.
On the one hand, the work done at Goon Park, the studies of Skinner, and the oft repeated experiments of Stanley Milton have proven that our environment and behavioral conditioning have an effect.
On the other hand, twin studies, family tracking, and studies of children separated at birth have shown that genetic tendencies are also prevalent.
Accepting either theory to the exclusion of the other is the scientific equivalent of wearing horse blinders.
And many of the studies are flawed, in that they suffer from being affected by the prejudicial thoughts of the researcher. If you want to find twins who were separated at birth but lived similar lives, you can surely find them. Ask age enough group the same questions until you find the ones whose answers fit your theories.
As for behaviorism studies, most are done by depriving primates normal socialization and affection. No wonder they behave oddly. And the less said about the rumors of Skinner's Box and his daughter, the better. She denies any mistreatment, to the point of threatening to sue a woman who wrote a study about her father...without even reading the study to see that the author defended her father.
The answer lies in a mix of chemicals, learned responses, genetic dispositions, and socio-economic factors.
Avahgdu Tyrson, Doctor of Clinical Hypnotherapy, Certified Licensed Therapist
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, June 4th, 2010
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3:47 pm - Writer's Block: Top Three
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What three qualities do you like most about yourself, and why? What qualities do you like least?
Like:
I have an emotional strength that would perplex Atlas.
I have a bond with animals that is uncanny.
I am very protective of those I love. I might tell you you're a dumbass, but someone else tries it...I'll eat their face.
Dislike:
I am not capable of forming the same connection with people, that I am with animals. Jason always knew that Elsa meant more to me than any human could. He accepted it, he even tried to understand it. But there is always a...distance...between me and another human.
The fact that my life is a complete failure, and I am reliant on others to survive.
I do not feel that I have ever fully realized my talents. I am not the singer I once was, the poet I could be, the photographer I want to be, the make-up artist I am capable of being. When every day is a fight for survival, my muses get ignored.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, May 23rd, 2010
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10:12 pm
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Dr Who: Vampires in Venice.
No sir, didn't like it.
Actor who plays Rory feels awkward and out of place. The CHARACTER is sposed to feel that way, not the actor. I think he's hot, and might be good elsewhere, but I hate him on my Tardis.
Don't like supernatural creatures that turn out to be aliens. NEVER have. Big pet peeve with the series.
Don't like how anticlimatic the turning off of the weather machine was. It had an on/off TOGGLE? ppppbbbbttt
Don't like the big bad fishbug lady being able to guilt the doctor over her race's extinction. He had already cried shenanigans over her not even knowing the name of the girl she fedd to her sons. She was turning innocent into monsters to breed with said sons. She was a monster, you killed her, don't give me that dumbass attempt to 'humanize' the doc we have had since the reboot. Jon Pertwee would embraced her like he was gonna help her, tripped her with his foot AND SHOVED HER IN. Then he would have said, with mock contrition, "Oh dear...did I do that?"
I did love the library card scene. geekgasm.
I have loved this version of the Doctor so far, but this ep made me down right cranky.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, May 16th, 2010
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9:08 pm - no thank you
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I got a friend request on facebook from Tynie. Now, once upon a time I liked him enough that I would drive home from Circle by myself, and let him drive my wife home...after they had some 'private time'. Nikki n I really wanted it to be serious between him and Misha, because I trusted him that much and was very paranoid that Misha would meet someone who could not accept my place in her love. (I have learned to trust the Goddess some. I could not have self designed a better man than John)
But Tynie treated Misha in less than gentlemanly ways. Serious strike one. Misha is the first person not related to me by blood that I realized her happiness means more to me than mine. She is to be treated the John treats her, or I will introduce you to Ella. Ella in a bad mood...tragic for what put her there.
Then he actually offered to protect a woman's baby from me. A baby. FROM ME!! Now, I had a serious misunderstanding with the woman...and thru equal parts my overreacting and her overreacting ruined what might have been a pleasant friendship. But when this woman worried for her baby's safety on her lj (not out of line on her part, she barely knew me, knew I was hella pissed, and knew I was mental), did Tynie...my supposed friend and brother...reassure her that the last thing on earth I would EVER do is a hurt a child? Which would calm her fears AND defend me at the same time! No, he offered to protect the baby from me. Like I was literally a danger to this child's life. And why did he do this? In an effort to make time with this frightened woman. Ya know...while he was STILL FOOLING ROUND WITH MY WIFE. Second...strike.
Then Aynne and Jim let him move in with them again, cuz he had nowhere to go, and they is suckers for the helpless. They let bygones be what they is, came him a clean slate...and he royally fucked them over. With no sign of remorse or even glimpse of common decency. Now, Aynne and I have had words. I have had a hard time accepting some of her actions and a hard time reminding myself what *I* would be like if someone killed my sister. But no matter what, WE ARE FAMILY. I know I can call her anytime and she will do her best to help me. She took in another stray (told ya they was suckers) and I scrapped the barrel to help him get some threads.
Sometimes family is messy, but that's part of what makes it sticky enough to hold together. And he hurt my family. That's strike three, bucko. Step on me, I'm stupid, I'll take it. But step on those I love? No.
I don't hate him. Wish him harm. Life is too short, I need my energy to get better, and to take care of the people who bring light and humor into my life.
But I surely do not want to be his friend. I just don't.
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, May 15th, 2010
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4:11 am - Writer's Block: Solo traveler
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Do you find it very hard to open up to people? Why or why not? What are the benefits and disadvantages of being emotionally guarded?
OF COURSE I find it hard to open up to people!! I can count on one hand the people who have never seriously hurt me in some way.
If you know anything about my childhood, you'll understand that I trust no one but Misha, Mom an my sister. I have other friends, and I love everyone of them, but trust is the hardest thing in the world.
There are no benefits and the disadvantages are overwhelming. I would love to be able to trust people and just walk up to people and meet new friends.
And it's hard for Jason cause he tired of my saying Misha would know what I should do. But she knew how mad I should be, if I should let something go, if I was over reacting.
It's hard to be me.
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, May 14th, 2010
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3:26 pm - Writer's Block: Mind reader
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In three words, describe what's currently running through your mind.
kill...maim...destroy
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(comment on this)
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11:30 am - Writer's Block: Mind reader
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In three words, describe what's currently running through your mind.
clinic, needles, hormones
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, May 12th, 2010
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6:45 pm - Writer's Block: Sheldon and Penny 4ever!
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Fanfiction: Do you love it or hate it, or are you totally indifferent? Why?
I have won awards for my Vampirella fan fiction.
And I used to collect 'fanzines' about Vincent and Catherine, from Beauty and the Beast.
Several of my friends from that fan community are now published romance novelists.
Some of it is dreck, but if you are willing to look...gems are findable.
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(comment on this)
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6:17 pm - a reposted poem, in honor of Missy's delivery.
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These hands I'm told are gentle,
I know these hands are strong.
These hands have swept tears away,
and made right, what had gone wrong.
These hands lift up my baby,
to shoulders where he rides.
They've cast herbs into the oceans,
For spells hewn...in the tides.
These hands buried a lover,
They have held a newborn child.
These hands have cared for creatures,
some were tame, and some still wild.
These hands can move in symbols,
that translate into song.
A gift from a young lover,
before things went so wrong.
These hands have planted in the earth,
and reached up to the Divine,
They've carried me thru life, you see,
For these witch's hands...are mine.
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, May 11th, 2010
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6:47 pm - The epic tale of Missy's delivery...
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My little volkswagon with fur, Missy, came to Mom and I yesterday around 2pm. She was clearly freaking out, and she 'spotting' a little. I've been worried, cause is too young and she was HUGE towards the end of her pregnancy.
She got in between Mom and I, as close as she could to both of us, and started the non stop purr-pant combo that means labor is starting. I expected a difficult labor. I did NOT expect full labor to start at 4pm and last till 1am.
She stayed on the sofa, with a tiny bubble of amniotic sack crowning, for a very long time. The rule of thumb is 'if she pushes for four hours with no birthing...call the vet. Just, and I mean JUST before the time was up, she raced up the stairs to the highest darkest room. It's officially a bed room, but to us it's an attic. Jason wanted to bring her back down but I said "No, we have follow her."
Mom, Jason and I trucked up the stairs and found hiding in the attic room. We got her into a box filled with towels and I donned my rubber gloves. I figured I would stroke her head and encourage her...but she would do all the work. As usual...I figured wrong. She had very little what was happening, and was terrified and in pain, with no idea what to do.
The first kitten seemed stuck in the chute. I picked up her front end and massaged her tummy while she locked eyes with and screamed. Gravity and the tummy rub brought out our first wee one. But he was not moving, and she was just staring at it like 'what the hell?'
I cleared it's mouth and nose from the sack remnants and rubbed it's tummy lightly. I did not think it was viable, due to being stuck in the chute for so long. But it finally starting moving. She took an interest then and began licking it in earnest. I was very proud of her. The afterbirth plopped out. I waited and waited. I picked up the cord and stuck it to her mouth. She looked at me like I was insane. She got another contraction and when her mouth opened...I put the cord in it. She bit down, severing the cord. Suddenly she got the idea and ate the afterbirth. I had to hand feed it to her, she would not let go of my arms.
Two more babies came, each one with clutching me and me licking her forehead. Yes, you read that correctly. After the third birth...she just collapsed. But I could movement in her tummy. She climbed up onto me and had a very bloody bowel movement. Jason cleaned that up while Mom watched the other ki8ttens and made sure everyone was moving and breathing.
The fourth kitten fell out with a plop. She was uninterested in this now. Poor thing had been at this all day and late into the night. The sack on this one was intact, the baby squirming inside a bubble of fluid. I tore open the sack, blood and amniotic fluid going everywhere. This little bugger started screaming instantly. She ate threw the cord and I realized the afterbirth was still inside.
I held her up to my face and she grabbed my beard. She gave a mighty push and the after birth flew out. I laid her downn with her babies and we thought it was over.
I laid down on the floor next to her birthing box and she went back and forth from licking her finally nursing kittens to licking my hand. We all thought we were done. For about fifteen minutes.
The last kitten...she did all the work herself. Either instinct showed it's face at last, or she had learned from my help on the four before. I like to think it was a mix. I felt her tummy. She stopped panting for the first time in eleven hours...and I just knew we were done.
I collapsed onto Jason, my head on his leg...and as I noticed I was covered in blood and amniotis fluid and poo...I just closed my eyes and listened to the nursing babies and Mom tearfully telling Missy what a good girl she is.
Jason broke our silence with..."Honey...I love you so much...how on earth did you know how to do that?"
"I'm a witch, silly," I replied.
"I know a lot of witches who couldn't do that!", Jason whispered.
Mom answered him, "Those are called 'wiccans', honey. It's not remotely the same."
Today, Mother and kittens are just fine. And I am utterly exhausted.
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(9 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, May 9th, 2010
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9:27 pm - Time of the Angels
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I just watched the latest itunes upload of Dr Who, "The Time of the Angels".
I have zero complaints about the episode, but then I am enjoying this season much more than some of my fellow Whovians.
I DO have a complaint with itunes, that I have idea where to send the bitch to. For the first time since I started dl-ing the Doctor, the sound is off. It's very slight, but has the subtle feeling o fwatching a poorly dubbed foreign film.
I like River Song a lot.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, May 7th, 2010
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6:34 pm
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am i still a poet
if my words will
not come?
and often, it's
an imperfect
rhyme.
i flail for
the pacing, and
rarely succeed
un-iambic
i could never
tell time.
so here i must sit
a blank sheet
before me
staring at, the
silent wall.
knowing inside
that whatever
these words mean
i'm not
a poet...at all.
i still hear music
it lifts and unbinds
me...but my body
is trapped in
this chair.
the song it lives
in me, but my legs
won't listen
if i try to
rise up
i fall.
grace is forbidden
movement a burden
so...i'm not
a dancer at
all.
i once was an artist
my tale told in sketches
and photos of where
i had gone.
but these eyes are
blind now, and my
hands...arthritic
so my story is
only my
song.
my voice now waivers
crackles, un-tuned
i can't find the
right notes
i stall
i'm not a poet
an artist, or dancer
the truth is
i'm nothing
at all.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, May 2nd, 2010
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10:25 pm - Victory!!!
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Of the Daleks, that is.
I greatly enjoyed this episode. Still feeling that Matt Smith is a throwback to much funner times, ala Tom Baker. In love with Amy, altho in this ep she alludes to fancying the Doctor...I don't want that. He was in love with Rose and letting her go with his twin was hard for him. He should not be over Rose yet.
And with Martha falling for him, too, that is getting redundant. I want the Doctor and Amy to be more like my much younger sister and I. He can be her hero, she can be his best friend, they can truly adore each other... without romance coming up.
That is the only minor thing that bugged me in the whole ep, tho. Loved Churchill. Loved the Android. REALLY loved the space battle! As for the multi colored Daleks, it is far from the first time. I thought they looked neat, and I am intrigued by the female officer crying...something we will get more on later, I am sure...and Amy's not remembering the Dalek invasion of earth.
Can't wait to see the Weeping Angels. I loved them in Blink. Itunes seems to be getting an ep a week, so next Sunday I should get to see their return.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 25th, 2010
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9:24 pm - The Beast Below
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6:26 pm - Writer's Block: Another country
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Do you have good friends from other countries that you've met on LiveJournal? Have you ever met them in person? If not, do you think you ever will?
Um...I like Snaky Poet, but we've only just met. I don't even know her actual name.
I have friends in other countries, but none of them have ljs.
Oh, yea, my Bunny hunny lives across the pond.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Friday, April 23rd, 2010
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5:02 pm - The Eleventh Hour
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I know I am FAR behind my bit torrent using and bbc america having friends, but I just watched The Eleventh Hour, the first Matt Smith ep of Dr. Who, last night. (I have to wait for them to be available on itunes.)
I honestly feel almost in my total enjoyment of the episode. So many of my friends, lots of them with opinions I respect, have had major complaints about the new series. Now, granted, you are all ahead of me by several shows now.
But I LOVED this show. Tennant's last episode bugged the hell out of me, and the new guy looks very...odd... to me and I kept hearing complaints. So, I expected to hate it.
My only wish is that we could see more of the young actress who played the new companion as a child. She was brilliant and had a very magickal chemistry with the Doctor. I am hoping they find a way to use her as another character, or use her in flashbacks as young Amy from time to time.
I can't wait till itunes gets the next episode. I hope I continue to be surprised by my enjoyment of a refreshed Doctor.
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(9 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 15th, 2010
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8:51 pm - to my BadBoyBunny from across da sea...
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| Saturday, April 10th, 2010
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5:14 am
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for the record
i hate being
in love
i hate that i
miss him
when he right
across the hall
keeping his virus
nicely to himself
but not right
where
I can touch him
in the darkness
his warmth and
his breaths
banishing the
aloneness
that i hate more
more than I hate
being in love
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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